the speech to save America

So, a lot of people are against me on this speech. What people don't understand is just how important it is for me to get my way on this. This is my last two years and I want to make sure that I can be seen as the president, the war president, who secured cheap oil for America in the first quarter of the 20th century. And for me to get all the glory, it has to be done by my ideas. It's my ideas that will win this war.

All those surrender monkeys are a bunch of wussies. The only way to win a war is with fightin'! And so we have to increase the fighting to stop the fighting! It's really pretty simple. We need Iraq as weak as can be, so they will require America to help them. And we'll be there, and route the oil to all the SUVs, iPods, WalMarts, and suburban McMansions with the lights and HVAC left on 24/7. That's what America's about. Heck if we could squander all the resources without invading Iraq,we would have done that. If Saddam Hussein wasn't such a dick and simply rolled over when we told him to, and had been more compliant, then we wouldn't have needed to invade the place.

But, no, Saddam Hussein was a total prick, and so we had to invade to get the oil for greedy fat Americans who can barely get off the couch and unglue themselves from the freakin' game on the damn TV long enough to waddle down to the Kwikee Mart for a Big Gulp of corn syrup.


We have to defend that greedy lifestyle of those sheep because they vote, and they vote republican. It's all about power, my friends, all about power. MY POWER, and if it's not me, it's the power of the War Machine, and the Republican Party is the party of the War Machine. Well, the Democrat Party is also the party of the War Machine, but they're a buncha faggots who believe in stuff like diplomacy and being clever to get the resources to run America. That's what the War Machine is for - to go out and get what we need to fuel the American Lifestyle.

So, that's why we need to surge the troops so we can make it more obvious that we will need a permanent set of bases in Iraq to keep the oil going to the suburbs.

And when we win in Iraq, and we keep the oil going to the suburbs, my place in history will be guaranteed - I'll have done what my daddy didn't have the guts to do - to go kick Saddam's ass and bring back the booty to the burbs, and ensure that the Republican Party stay in power forever. We can do it, and I will be a hero. I will! We just need to beat up those terrorists and make Iraq safe for America. Then everything will be great.